I remember times when I "fell" in love. Bending over backwards to make this person your world and he can't even call you when he promised. Running and completing his every whim; only to be waiting two hours at Houlihan's alone because he stood you up once again. You surrender your body, mind and spirit to this person leaving you empty and weak. You confront the person in regards to his ill treatment, he twist your words and get angry at you. You now apologize to him because you are convinced it somehow is your fault. The relationship is the world's tallest and fastest roller coaster, when you're up...it's fucking great. When you're down...the hurt cuts to your core. But you are in love and scared to be alone.
Bobby Caldwell's song, "What You Won't Do For Love", sums it up very nicely:
What you won't do, do for love
You tried everything
But you don't give up
In my world only you
Make me do for love
What I would not do
I finally woke up one day, tired of the pain and tears. I realized I deserved so much better. His actions were not made from love. I weened myself from the drug of "falling" in love. I relapsed many different times and with different people, each rehab session becoming harder to work through.
I once heard an acquaintance of mine say you never "fall" in love; when you fall you get hurt. He is right...I still have the scars.
(photo from photobucket)